Okay, enough frivolity for now. We both enjoyed your comments and it helped shake off our winter blues out here at the Rat but I had better get back to catching up on our serious journaling before the renewed activity at the dreaded gas well across the road takes precedence once more. Oh yeah, they're back at it all right.
It wasn't long after Mark's very close call in the late Spring that we decided to beef up the front of his Dodge Ram. For those of you who haven't read our older accounts, it will help if you read Hit and Run first.
Much as we expected, the gas field did NOTHING to produce the culprit even after the BLM (Bureau of Land Management) weighed in and broadcast the incident. Nor have they done anything to make their increasingly anonymous gas field trucks more identifiable and accountable. Plausible deniability seems to be a valuable and growing intentional tool for such large corporations - and it is getting old real fast out here. I normally don't like to rant publicly but I suspect that they plan on pushing the limits of that neighborly envelope REAL soon. Here's the big industry salve on this earlier incident; we were told that the gas field makes budgetary accommodations for a 'hit and run' on a rancher's cattle. That certainly would have been a consolation if that idiot had driven Mark off the road to his death. In the meantime, we're living with the damages they inflicted rather than claim it on our own insurance and endure the increased rates after the claim. Nice. And they wonder why landowners develop 'an attitude' after a while.
In face of the obvious forthcoming bureaucratic frustrations, we chose to get proactive where it counts in the end - better protection from head-on collisions with idiots. The mesas, rabbit brush and curves provide plenty of blind corners and I have had my own share of split-second judgment near-misses on these roads. I don't even wander out that often! We were looking for something stout, something to give Mark a bit of an edge should the gas field throw another lead-foot truck driver at him again. If we have learned anything from Red, it is how to research the living daylights out of a new quest. We queried ranchers, outfitters and field people on what they liked in the way of truck front-end protection. We found some cheap 'knock-offs' but eventually settled on the "Ranch Hand' grill guard and bumper. Fortunately, he hasn't had to use it for self-defense from other vehicles but it has held up very well when gently nudging the odd belligerent cow forward and out of the way (more on that down the road). It also served well when Mark ran the Ram's front end dead on into the creek's eroded far embankment in his attempt to cross our running creek. The conclusion of that story can be found under Part 2 and Part 3.
You playing chicken wi' ME, Bub?.
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32 comments:
Go get 'em, Lin. Take your slingshot and pop the big ole boss right between the eyes. And you always plead "no spika anglais".
Do you think it would it help if you continued to nag the BLM? And our Senators? I'll sign a petition if you can get one going.
Oh, I forgot. You could always mount an .88 on the truck roof top. The sight alone might get you some respect.
Cat, now you having me chuckling with a "Did I call that one right or what?" moment. Mark is signing up to be more proactive with various organizations and plans to head off to 'City Different' at the end of the month. I said "Hmmph, you need to take 'the Cat' with you ... then you will see some REAL political butt-kicking!" Hmmph!
P.S. Cat, if I could take a bead on the grand gas poohbahs right now with my trusty sling-shot, I surely would. Of course, you know that they never venture this far down the actual food chain. We had also previously considered mounting a BMG 50 on the truck cab for visual effect. What does it take for them to get a hint on being decent to at least polite standards anyway?
How about the 4 four 50cal guns off the tail of a BUFF. I've got a few connections at the bone yard (Tucson) and my old co-pilot was there and we be seeing them later this coming week. We could mount it in the bed of the Ram. - he he he - Fun to destroy stuff. Red
Yeehaw! Sign us up for a couple, one for each truck! Hmphhh ... that'll make them look for us coming down the road. Even the water tankers will think twice about driving down the center of the road and running us off into the ditches.
Another option is shown over at Rob's
Megalicious Mayhem (he's in my link list). Click on the video under "Taxi Deterrent". Me likes!
Where are the mad max-esque spikes and blades on the front... it wouldnt be good for the cows, but it would certainly look impressive.
Man, that ought to move some elk, deer, cattle, buffalo and antelope playing out of the way!
Nice truck!
I bet it would nudge a port-a-potty over too...you know, when the next oil invasion comes!
PopeT, I like that idea! I could scrounge the theater supply houses for some nasty looking rubber blades and mount them on the hubs, etc.
Thanks, Mushy - we're hoping it will last a good long time but it's got a tough life ahead when 90% of the miles are going to be on these dirt 'roads'.
Now don't be giving us naughty ideas here - they just moved the round two porta-potties in yesterday. Sure would be nice to roll an exec during a nature call the way Slim's Big Dog rolls coyotes.
That thing could push dinner all the way to your hanging barn.
Love the porta-pottie idea.
That is a serious looking front end, when does your truck get a similar upgrade?
Sorry to hear that well activity is restarting, only consolation is that it will probably give you lots of blog ammunition.
That grill guard looks serious - here's to leveling the playing field in every way you can.
What you really need is a V-shaped snow plow, not too big. Then if Mark gets hit, the opposition goes for a ride, maybe even over on his top.
Oh, Babzy, gas execs are too gamey and tough to hang up in the barn.
You know, I'm starting to like that porta-potty idea more all the time myself.
Oh heck, dba, I don't go any where enough any more to justify the expense. Given my self-inflicted disaster, I could probably use one like that on the back end of the truck however.
Definitely more blog fodder coming with the new well activity. You're quite right - the occasion will have that going for it at least.
Thanks, Phlegmmy! Lately, we've noticed more field trucks showing up with these things so let us know if you find something suitable and affordable for the next defense escalation.
Alphonse, you might have just found the next defense upgrade! (see comment above to Phlegmmy).
I like this concept of deflecting the demo derby drivers.
OK, LIn. You've succeeded in intimidating ME, if no one else.
And speaking of intimidation... I just cannot, for the life of me, visualize a lil green Miata on your "roads."
Er, no, ma'am, I ain't playin' chicken. Not that brave.
Great to catch up with you. Been very crook/ ill after my week overseas.
All the very best for 2008.
Paint the hood like a big football helmet!
It sure does have a "Mad-Max" look to it, indeed! I think all of our electric co-op trucks have this kind of "ammunition" on them. They work really good for rootin' broken poles and trees outta the road after an ice storm!
A triple-string of log chain would be a nice complement as well!
Buck, parts of these roads can be almost civil depending on weather and truck activity. According to Mark's valued opinion, a good day 'out here' is still not a good day for the Miata. But I have seen KLRs out this far if you should happen upon a dual sport some day.
David, great to see you back making the rounds but don't overdo it after that nasty illness!
It does have a sort of linebacker look to it, doesn't it, Bruno? Problem with painting the rest to look like a football helmet is that these guys take football seriously and the wrong colors might get Mark tackled and piled on "... just because."
You should see the water haulers and other big rigs go by out here. They carry chains across the back for all the drive wheels. That's a LOT of chain!
Point well taken, on the linebacker look! I never thought of it that way!
Yes, that IS a lot of chain---and, also, a LOT of intimidation to NOT get close to, if you "get my drift"...!
Bruno, I'm going to have take a photo of those chain arrays for you. I find it the most fascinating display of swinging mud and rust tentacles. Mind you, it's a little frustrating when you run into one 'chaining up' since they park in the middle of the road to do so.
It seems that they only appreciate brute force anyhow so the big grill and bars should get their attention, black is always a good color choice.
And OF COURSE the rear windos sports a gun-rack, with the ubiquitous 30-30 lever action rifle in it? Guns can be good attention-getters out on the range...
dirtcrashr, we're slowly learning out here that nice guys finish last. We got along great with the guys in the field but the suits still step on your neck and shove your face into the ground ... just because they can.
After having worked and lived in the near ghettos, I am REALLY reluctant to mount high profile gun racks in the trucks unless we can fill them with realistic air rifles. Making that run into town is where the real dangers lie and once you're in town, there are low-lifes more than willing to jimmy your doors and windows to get at eye-candy in the cab plus anything loose in the bed of the truck. Our buddy Hondo has stopped more than his share of parking-lot shopping sprees of that nature. I'd hate to lose our practical toys to such scum bags plus foot any repairs to the truck ... as VERY tempting as it is. It's definitely a frustrating situation.
Cool truck, and I think Bruno's right about the chain. It'd look cool. You need a set of those steel nuts swayin' back under the back bumper too. And a hand granade or two, a few duds hangin' from your rear view mirror and they might think to avoid you.
FHB, why didn't I think of grenades after Bruno post on some of his old toys? Maybe a dummy one swinging around off the far edge of the driver's mirror would get their attention.
I get the picture - maybe an old golf-club then, a-la Jack Nicholson? ;-) You can pick 'em up cheap at Goodwill...
Ah-hah-hah-hah! dirtcrashr, I just visualized a whole rack of old golf clubs in the back window. It would certainly quell the eye-candy effect in town. If I can work on Mark now to master that gorgeous "Honey, I'm home!" expression, we just might have a winner here.
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