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Reality Warning: Philosophical material to follow
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As I watched their taillights disappear over the last visible far away stretch of our canyon road at dusk, I realized that I had never taken their photograph and I sighed heavily in regret. Now I could only hope that Virgil and Jen's return trip home was safe and uneventful. They had brought me desperately needed supplies without hesitation and even though I still have no means of paying them. This was their second trip into our far boonies. They had already come to the rescue within two days of Terry's passing, being there as both family and friends to quietly share in trying to make sense of this unfathomable turn of fate.
This post is for Connie, Virgil's mom. In her many caring and encouraging e-mails, and like so many of you, she has worried about my predicament alone out here and she lamented not being able to help, wondering what she might be able to offer in this very challenging time. Connie, you have helped in more ways than you could ever imagine; you have shared your son with me - so I thank you, deeply and from the heart.
Virgil came to us from the gas field. He came to us via their good neighbor policy but stayed to become our loyal friend throughout this and so many toughest of times. He did not abandon us when fate transferred him so far away from us either. So many people who cross your path in brilliant comet-like colors will fade away quickly when circumstance and convenience change; he did not. Nor did his equally sincere wife, Jenny. If you can count such people as friends on even one hand at the very end of your life, you have been extraordinarily blessed. I feel as though my two hands are full and am now running out of toes to tabulate such blessings. This is what keeps me going when unseen influences do their best to beat me down to my knees and shove my face into the dirt as they have tried so many times before. And as long as I can feel even a small amount of a goodness and love in mankind, I will keep fighting that good but often discouraging fight. I may retreat into the solitude of my aerie when the sum of events become too burdensome but I bring your caring with me as a balm for heart wounds which might otherwise prove fatal. We all bear the responsibility for mankind's future by caring for others in genuine and selfless ways ... don't drop the ball and then point a lamenting finger at the rest of the world. For all we know, there may be a scale of planetary proportions with a preset point waiting for the day when just one good soul dying away will be enough to set the cogs of our fate into reverse.
That was my big philosophical rant; thank you for indulging me. With any luck and blessing, I will be back to the utterly mundane shortly. In the meantime, get defiant and fight your own good fight; never let them get you down for long because rising from your knees to victory is the finest of life's wines that you will ever taste and remember. If I can do it, so can you - don't ever, EVER forget that.
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30 comments:
More than you know we are sooo very relieved to hear something! We appreciate Virgil and his wife for coming to your rescue. If we could send him a personal note we definitely would. We have been checking the blog and e-mail every few hours in hopes to hear something. No news in this case is definitely NOT GOOD NEWS!!!
Did anyone come yet with gravel?
S & J
All my love, hopes, and prayers for you my dear. May the rising sun bring a new beginning for you.
Lin, you are amazing. I can handle all this kind of philosophy you have hidden in you. In fact, I needed a kick in the rump and it seems you knew that. Thank you my friend.
Ahhhhh what a relief to read your post. xxx
You are a strong person Lin....I have no doubts your strenght and faith will bring you through this.
Prayers and best wishes from the flat lands of western Ohio.
Well said, Mrs. Phoenix!
Bless Virgil and Jen for reaching you when others among us couldn't. You're still in my heart and thoughts daily, honey!
Lin - Oh you are there and you are showing signs of the tough cookie we love!! I am so glad you left the comment section open so we can tell you we are all here -- I was afraid to read another of Babzy's "insane hermit making soup from her guests" stories...so you have saved us!!!
God Bless Virgil and Jenny - God will reward them and repay them for their kindnesses to you. (Connie, what a fine son you raised.)
Lin - if any good can possibly come out of all this, it is the wisdom and insight you are getting and passing on to us. I have learned many fine lessons from you in the past several weeks, my friend.
Keep your posts coming. We need you. The world would be a much poorer place without your posts.
~Sharon
S&J, I apologize for my habit of getting quiet when things pile up. Terry knew that trait all too well and just let me sort things out in my own way before heading back in for another round.
I will certainly let Virgil, Jen and Connie know that you think the world of them all, too!
They fixed the crossing with large rock on Friday - which allowed the cavalry to cross to the rescue. Hope the rains are light now and leaves their work intact for the next few months.
Thank you, Mushy, it's good to know that you are right there with your best thoughts ... it does help immensely, you know.
Cat, you have kicked me in the rump before as well ... guess that's what real buddies are for, aren't they? You and Wild Thing have been genuine treasures ... meow!
Babzy ... no visitor stews yet! It has become apparent that I should watch for cholesterol, too - all that MacDonald's marbling might not be such a good dietary choice. grin!
Bless ya, Pat, and I hope you're right. I am up again and ready for another round if this old heart is!
And you remain in my thoughts each day as well, Phlegmmy, and hoping that you will continue to kick butt in awesome new ways. I am so danged proud of you like you wouldn't believe.
Hey, my Towie/Sharon, when you see the comments back enabled, you know that I am back out of the cave and ready to take on the world again. It may seem like an odd way of doing things but if something works for you, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Your attaboys are certain to make Connie's day, you know - thank you!
It's an incredibly comforting thought that I can forge some good of these trials by sharing some insights gained the hard way and hopefully saving someone else the need to find out on their own at the worst of possible times; that is when some purpose and justification comes from it all. Thanks for hanging in there with me!
Just came to check on you. Your previous post really concerned me. I'm so sorry everything is so hard right now. That was awful someone stealing Terry's stuff. But this post has made me feel better for you. Hang in there. I know there isn't anything I can do as I'm in Arkansas. But I will pray as I have been. Just know my thoughts are with you. Margie
Lin,
I have been waiting for every one of your posts since mid July. You are a survivor and strong, and learning about your life through this blog is a lesson I need right now. Thank you for sharing your experiences with such honesty. I think about you daily and I know with your attitude life holds many many good things for you.
-Val
I had sort of an internet-free weekend and am just now catching up with my regular reads... and it's oh-so-good to see a post from you, Lin.
I agree with your philosophical "rant" [about which: not much of a rant, as far as rants go, ya know ;-) ]. Military folks accumulate a LOT of acquaintances over the years, and you're right: most fade away, but a few remain. Like you, yet again, I treasure those who've hung around all these years. Priceless.
I hope things are going as well as possible. You remain in my thoughts.
Lin, You know about lifes tough path, more than anyone one else. When YOU tell me to grab for what counts most, it carries a lot of weight.
Sure wish I wan't 1000 miles away... I'd like to try out my truck on that road of yours.
Gee, Margie, I just couldn't leave you guys up in the air like that, you know. grin
Given their timing, I am definitely very angry at the ID thieves for causing Terry more upset than he needed in his last days. I hope they get early and extra time in hell for that selfishness.
I consider the prayers of friends far away every bit as important as showing up at the door. Thank you so.
Val, I had one acquaintance give me grief for the last post being so depressing. It is my own belief that glossing Pollyanna over the low spots does not give others a fair idea of what life can throw at them. Then, if they hit such low spots themselves, they feel abnormal and inadequate - and, to me, that's just not fair or helpful. For me, it's okay to hit the low spots - that's when you can shift down into granny low where all the torque is.
I'm so glad you stuck out this ride with me because we're going to start slowly climbing up the far side of the mud bog now to look for the good views on the other side.
Oh-ohh, Buck, I'm afraid to ask how you ended up with 'an internet-free weekend' - somehow I don't think it was all vol. My sympathies, or rather empathies.
I know, grin, I was never too good at awesome searing rants ... but it still felt great! I am so glad that you also found some true keepers who chose to not lose track of you. I bet they feel the same way about you, too, priceless.
My word, Carteach, you have been down that brutal path yourself without 4WD. I figure that between the three of us, we've got someone there to pound the dash and yell "Yes, yes, hit it! Don't stop now!"
This is definitely the place and season to play with that boss truck of yours. And this is a rare time that I wish we all lived in a country as small as Luxemburg.
Was really pleased to read that you had been resupplied and also been visited by good friends.
Keep on telling it as it really is, we all need to know exactly where you are at the moment.
Hopefully, this may be the start of a change of fortune for you - fingers crossed.
If we all lived in Luxembourg then I would guess that your freezer would be empty by now!
Hey, thanks for the continued crossed fingers and thoughts, dba ... looks like the effort is slowly starting to nudge the boulder from the pass of better fortune.
You know, I couldn't think of a better way to empty a freezer than from friends stopping and staying over for a while. Our main reason for stocking up a freezer was exactly that. Hopefully I will be able to resume that principle some day and that no one will never leave hungry. My mum would certainly have approved so c'mon Luxemburg!
Lin, you know how we feel down here in St. Louis. We want you to keep writing. It would have made Terry so happy to be remembered that way.
Judy and Sue (Terry's sisters)
Judy and Sue, you're right ... I never did quite catch up with our tales of adventure out here. And it is for Terry that I will keep this tale going for as long as it takes to recount, and also for everyone who has ever had a dream like ours, in hopes that they will also pursue it while fate allows.
So beautifully put, and needing to be said dear.
Big hug from the range.
Brigid
Brigid, somehow I just knew you would be the one to 'get it' - so absolutely and fully.
Thank you for the gentlest lecture I have ever had.
No wonder I list you among my favorite people.
Now that I'm back from our tripp I'm finding lots of great writing to wade through. Hell, even Bruno is posting agin. Sorry it's taken so long to get here, but I want you to know that' you're constantly in our minds. Mushy and I talked about you out on his porch, while we sipped a lager and puffed a stogie. We both wish you'd get the hell out of there, but beyond that we both, we all want you too do whatever you feel you need to do. You're gonna do that anyway. You're one of the strongest people I've ever known. I'll try to take your advise, and live by your example. Take care big sis.
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