A Huntin' You May Go ... sigh, or not

My blog friend David over at The Author Blog (see his link in the left hand column) has just inspired me with his new post on partner blog interest and participation. It does seem to take haltering and leading to the blog well at times. In my case, I was fortunate that Mark responded exceedingly well to threats of starvation and/or torture. While he is too stoic to be a cheerleader, he is generally an excellent proofreader when he is in the right mood. And I will grant him that my impetuous demands for immediate editing normally correspond with his time of nodding off while reading the same page of the Wall Street Journal for over an hour or more.

But with his conscripted servitude come certain blog privileges. In this case, he requested that I address our ranch's hunting income for this year. Since we are in between outfitters at the moment, he has decided to play the field a little. Normally, we have been selling our private land owner elk tags to outfitters who market a package with a healthy guide fee tacked on. If you are a competent, self-reliant outdoorsman and hunter, we can help you set up a world class big game hunting vacation in New Mexico for a third to one half of an outfitted hunt. Our 2NN (second nearest neighbor) offers very good meal and lodging accommodations to hunters. I happen to think that their rates are outrageously reasonable given that they are the only game in the canyon. She has several good photos of enormous bulls that have been taken in our area. ...

Z-z-z-h-r-r-r-r-r-r-i-i-p-p-p-p!!!!!

The above line represents the sound of a tone arm ripping across your newly recorded piece of blog vinyl. Sigh.

We had just completed another round of coerced blog proofreading when the phone rang so Mark nipped off to his office to answer the call. Ten minutes later, I hear an announcement "Never mind about that blog thing. It was an outfitter, I think we have a deal."

I was still staring at the recently completed entry. I now became aware that my teeth were grinding painfully together, I could feel the outer edges of my lips expanding into a maniacal grin, my eyelids and pupils were dilating into a glazed off-focus stare. I knew I was slipping into a blog writer's Jack Nicholson Shining moment. I stared at the screen. The recently accomplished words began to dissolve and were now running down into a distinct black puddle of ink at the bottom of that screen. "Oh ... really, dear?" All that creative angst and fighting for cooperation for nothing then? Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh. Bloggus interruptus.

My nostrils flared to accommodate the adrenalin rush as I advanced ever so silently into the office. "So ... tell me more ... d-e-a-r." I felt my fingers involuntarily curl into deadly arches as I surveyed the long and graceful lines of his Lladro-esque neck from behind. He turned unexpectedly and I withdrew those menacing hands just as quickly and assumed a Stepford wife glowing demeanor (or as best as I am capable of, at least). "I think we have a deal." he said. "Oh, really? And you will be happy with that, I mean TRULY happy with that? What I mean to say is that I will never hear any further griping about this then, never have to recreate this last blog? Ever? Really?" "Yes, that is correct." "By really, I mean r-e-a-l-l-y ..." I took the legal pad down from his book shelf and placed it in front of him. "... then you won't mind writing and signing a statement to that effect?" "I will NOT!" Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh. "Then you may ask me to do this again later for some other reason, your most royal sweetness?" And so we discussed a broad range of vaguely interweaving matters. It became clear that he reserved the right to rain on my parade down the road - that's how I took it at least. I eventually acquiesced, only regretting that I know so little about operating the skid steer and all its lovely digging abilities. J-u-s-t kidding, sort of. Remember, unless you are confined to an environment the size of a large shoebox with the love of your life 24/7, you cannot begin to understand the dynamics at play out here. Eh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

As usual, Mark was pressed into proofreading even this rework. This torturous blog exercise is surprisingly therapeutic for both of us. Oh, and the photo is of moose hunters, not elk hunters ... just had to throw that one in to get Alphonse the Moose's attention.